Keep Worcester Clean…or That Time I Became the Neighborhood Snitch

Three Decker aka The Main Housing Option in the Woo

For those of you not from the Worcester area, this is a three decker. Also called a triple decker. Or a three deckah. Back in the day, I'm fairly certain that 3 deckers were built to jam as many people as humanly possibly into densely populated urban areas in order to provide local housing to the large number of workers needed to fuel the industrial revolution. Today, the industrial revolution may be long gone, but the 3 deckers still remain. In 2015 they still serve the purpose of jamming as many people as possible into densely populated urban areas, while allowing the tenants to enjoy a relatively large living space at a relatively low price. This 3 decker actually isn't in my 'hood. Despite living smack in the middle of a cluster of 3 deckers (the "hole in the middle of the donut" so to speak), since you know, I can't walk right now due to the aforementioned derby incident and a boat load of snow, this photo stolen from Wikipedia will have to suffice.

Anyway, one of the best things about 3 deckers are the huge laundry windows out back. Almost all 3 deckers follow the exact same floor plan. (So if you've been in one 3 decker, you've essentially been in them all.) They have an enclosed rear stairwell/porch area that has this huge window that opens and closes with a giant sliding wooden "door". (I scoured the internet for a picture of one of these and couldn't find one. There are at least 6 of these about 10 feet from my building and I can't get outside to take a picture. Worcester fail.) Originally, a close line thingy was attached to the house here and you would slide open the window/door and hang out your laundry. Today, most of the clothes lines have broken off, and most people go to the laundromat anyway, so these windows have been used for more creative pursuits. In our 'hood, this is generally the place you go to argue with your significant other late at night so as not to wake the kids sleeping inside (Or as we like to call it, where we go to watch the nightly installment of the live action soap opera "As the 'hood Turns…). Or it's the place where you sit with your boys and drink cheap liquor when your girlfriend throws you out of the apartment. (And in m 'hood you don't bother recycling those cans and bottles. You just chuck them right out of said laundry window.) And in some very specific cases, this window becomes your method of waste disposal. This is how I became the neighborhood snitch.

At the time, our porch overlooked the backside of three 3 deckers. We would sit out on that porch, channeling Francie Nolan from a Tree Grows in Brooklyn…aka the BEST book in the history of the world. (A tree grows in Worcester?) From our awesome vantage point, we were able to see some pretty incredibly sights. Like this evil squirrel, who was known for stealing donuts from the Dunkin's dumpster and running by with an entire donut in his mouth.

Evil Squirrel. Fat from excessive donut consumption. Note the glowing red eyes.

And my personal favorite, the neighborhood car detailing center…

Hard core business doings going on here.
Please excuse the quality of this picture. It was taken on a Blackberry. Remember those?!

Well, one particular nearby 3 decker contained residents who like to get their drink on mid-day and follow that up with crazy shenanigans. These included throwing bags of trash (in the yellow city trash bags that you have to PAY FOR!) out into the backyard from the 3rd floor. Because if you are actually going to pay for the city trash bags, you might as well just toss them into the backyard instead of, you know, PUTTING THEM OUT ON THE STREET so that the trash truck will pick them up. (I would think that if you put any thought into just tossing the garbage into the back yard, you'd just use dollar store trash bags to save money…) Eventually, this must have gotten old, because one day while we were sitting out on our little oasis in the 'hood, the neighbors appeared in the back window and started tossing out small appliances. Mainly old TVs. So essentially at this point our porch was overlooking what was essentially a third world landfill. I had officially had enough. I consulted the Google and called the nuisance control board (Yes, such a board really does exist.) and complained about my neighbors and their shady trash disposal techniques. The person I talked to that day obviously hated their job or just the city in general because they were 100% unwilling to help. (I may or may not have given them a talking to in my best angry teacher voice…) What to do? What to do? Once again brushing off my best Nancy Drew skills, I got in touch with a friend who "knew people" (important people) in the city. She hooked me up with a direct phone number that went to an actual, Worcester loving person. I called. We had a nice chat. And she promised to look into the situation (after I begged her not to tell them who called. Because you know-snitches get stitches and all that…).

Imagine my surprise when just a few days later, I looked out of my bedroom window and saw the tenants of that apartment cleaning up their backyard. Under the watchful eye of city workers. It. Was. Awesome!!! The 'hood never looked so sparkly and clean!

A few days later, a package from the city arrived in the mail. It included Worcester pencils, little Worcester trash bags for picking up litter, Worcester coloring books, a Worcester growth chart for charting your child's height, and several Keep Worcester Clean bumper stickers, one of which I promptly stuck on my daughters' Cozy Coupe. Because nothing says, "My mom is NOT the neighborhood snitch" like a KWC sticker on your slick ride…

Keeping Worcester Clean…since 2009