That Time I Took the Bus...or Make Sure You Have Your Keys Before You Close Your Locked Apartment Door

We live right in the city. City buses drive by our street all day long. And my kids are fascinated by them. I attribute this to the fact that they go to a school that doesn't have bussing. Buses are like some magical creature to them that pick people up and then magically spew them out a few miles away. So of course, wasn't long before they started asking me when we could take the bus. Something that I had no desire to do. Ever. I thought it would be funny to tell them that Auntie Lori REALLY loved to take the bus. (If you know my sister, you know that riding the city bus is the last thing she would ever want to do.) I trained my kids to constantly ask Auntie when she was going to take them on the bus. When Lori complained that she had to drive to work in the snow, I pointed out that we lived on the snow route for the WRTA and that she could just hop on the bus. I even sent her the bus routes, schedules, and fare information. At this point I should have realized that karma was going to get me, but nope I pressed on with the bus jokes. 

Fast forward a few months. It's the first really hot day of the summer. I'm going to take the kids to the park. We pack a bag, head out to the parking lot, and I promptly realize that I have no keys and the door just locked behind us. Fail. After a few moments of panic, I remember that my sister had an extra key to our apartment. All I had to do was get to Umass, get the key, and get back home. To do this, we would take the bus. (An idea that excited my girls to no end. Mommy? Not so much.) I quickly googled "How much does it cost to take the bus in Worcester?", scrounged change from the bottom of my bag, and went to wait at the bus stop. 

So we crossed the street to wait at the bus stop, while I desperately googled Worcester's bus routes to find out which bus we should even take. (Shoutout to the inventor of the smartphone!) While this was going in, two different people that I knew from the girls' school drive by and beeped and waved. All I could think was, "I am SO Worcester."

Finally the bus came, I paid the fare for all three of us. When the driver noticed this she said, "Why'd you pay for the little one?" I told her, "She's 3. You have to pay for kids over 2." Her response? "She's tiny. Next time don't pay for her and just say she's two." Huh. You heard it here first, folks. You have permission from the WRTA to lie about your kid's age to save on the bus fare. Winning!

We sat down. Near a man who was wearing a long coat, all buttoned up and another man who arguing with himself. Violently. Even though it was 80 degrees outside. (In his defense, the air conditioning in the bus WAS on.) Without incident we get to UMass, get the key from my sister (who was laughing at me), and went back to wait for the bus home. Oh yeah-and I had to borrow bus fare home from my sister. Like I said-I am SO Worcester. 

We're waiting in the little glass bus waiting hut thingy and things start to get exciting. A man who was pounding energy drinks starts chatting with me about how difficult it is to rely on the bus system. (See. I am one of the bus people! I fit right in!) A mom and her little girl came next and sat down. My kids were playing in the sand on the sidewalk at this point and the little girl soon joined them. She was Hispanic with beautiful caramel skin. My kids were pasty the way only people of Scandanavian decent can be on the first shorts day of summer. The little girl walked back over to where her mom and I were sitting and said, "Mama? Why those girls so blanca?" Haha! Now I just happen to have watched enough Dora the Explorer to know that she asked her mom why my kids were so white. Her mom looked like she wanted to die. I laughed out loud. (And I totally empathized with his mom because a few years earlier it was my daughter who yelled out, "Look, mom! An Amiga!" when we saw a Hispanic woman at Target. Again-I blame Dora.)

After what felt like EONS the right bus arrived. Now everyone else riding the bus seemed to know what to do, whilst I was totally clueless. I got us on what looked like the bus back to our 'hood. It starts driving and goes to Target, where the driver yells, "Last stop! I'm off duty! Everyone off!" Um, what?! I used the last of my money for this bus fare and now we are even further from our house than we were when we were at Umass! Apparently sensing my stress, the bus driver said, "You can get back on this bus in 20 minutes." Good Lord. 20 minutes. In the Target parking lot. With two kids. And it's hot out. In my desperation, it seemed like an eternity. Eventually we're allowed back on. He asks me for my fare. What?! I just paid a full fare to go one stop!! Naturally being the Fitchburg/Worcester girl that I am, I started arguing with the driver about how ridiculous it was that he charged me the full fare (For two people only this time. I'm learning the ways of the bus....) to go only one stop. ONE STOP!!! And nowninhabe to pay again! Now at this point I've gone from completely rational to 100 % bat shit crazy.  The driver sighs and says, "Just get on the bus..." What do I do? Calmly get on the bus, right? Wrong. I say, "I don't want your handouts!" and promptly burst into tears. Like I said-bat shit crazy. I picked up L, grabbed A's hand, and started walking across the Target parking lot towards Lincoln Street. With the bus driving next to me with the door open while the driver tried to convince me to get back on the bus. Yup. That really happened. 

After about 500 feet I was too hot and too tired from carrying a 40 pound toddler, so I swallowed my pride and boarded the bus. Where we sat down next to a lovely woman who told me every detail of her child's birth story and then started asking me questions like, "How long did you push for? Did you tear?" Because these are obviously questions you ask strangers on the bus in Worcester. Obviously. 

Finally, FINALLY, we made it back to our 'hood, got off at our stop, and walked one block home. I was exhausted. I felt filthy. This whole adventure had taken us a solid 3 hours. (To go a whole 4 miles round trip...) I vowed to never, ever take public transportation again. Ever. And I also developed a new level of empathy for those who have to rely on public transportation every day. That bus is no joke. 

And because I couldn't find the pictures of our bus trip on my phone. Here's a picture of Tuetleboy. Same time of year. Same city. So it's pretty much a picture of the same thing.